Lucha Underground Review, 9/8/17

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By Andrew Sparling @onlymarcspector

“Bloodlines”

The Cueto Cup continues this week with the quarter finals. The men that are left in the tournament are hungry to take the whole thing. I’m sure its gonna be a hard hitting, super flying, masterpiece of a night!

Trios Match for 3 Ancient Aztec Medallions

The Rabbit Tribe (Mala Suerte, Paul London, Saltador) def The Worldwide Underground (Taya, Ricky Mandel, “The Darewolf” PJ Black)

The two teams are in the ring ready for action. Jack Evens came to the ring with the Worldwide Underground but he’s not involved in the match. Taya and Saltador start the match but Saltador acts creepy so Taya tags in Black. He gets the head up and Saltador tags in Suerte. Taya comes back in and pummels Suerte into the corner. Saltador comes in and acts creepy again as he sits in front of Suerte in the corner. London hops in the ring and stops Taya so he can sit with his partners in the corner. Taya runs at them and hits a double knee taking all three of them out. Mandel tags in and heads straight for London. It doesn’t take long for the Tribe to hit a triple team on Mandel. One on one Mandel and London action gets a bit of the spotlight until London gets a shooting star press on Mandel getting the win. The Rabbit tribe wins the first three Ancient Aztec medallions for the Gift of the Gods match.

We see the Worldwide Underground in the locker room being grilled by their leader Lucha Underground Champion Johnny Mudo and his agent. He’s pissed about their loss to the Rabbit Tribe but he decides to let them stay a part of the Underground.

Cueto Cup Quarter Final Match

Mil Muertes w/Catrina def Jeremiah Crane

Crane was on his way to the ring and he gets attacked from behind by his opponent Muertes. They battle at the top of the stairs and Muertes takes control throwing Crane around a bit. A commercial cuts into the action for a few minutes. When they come back Matt Stryker tells us that Dario Cueto has made this match a no disqualification match. Crane comes crashing through the door as Muertes threw him through it. They head to the top of the bleachers and Muertes beats Crane’s head into the wood. They fight all the way to the outside of the ring. Muertes slams Crane’s back into the ring post and he powerbombs him into the ring apron. They finally get into the ring and Crane throws Muertes to the outside again. Crane goes for a suicide dive but he just bounces off Muertes like a rubber ball off of a wall. Muertes throws Crane, head first, into the folding chairs. Crane finds a way to get Muertes set up in a chair and he starts to chop at him. Crane backs up and spits the nastiest loogie in his hand and he chops Muertes super hard and loud. Crane goes for an around the world and he runs around the ring. He comes around the ring and when he comes close, Muertes jumps up and spears the hell out of him. Then Muertes throws Crane over the announce table into about the third row of seats.

Back in the ring, Muertes sets up some chairs. He drops Crane, back first, onto the backs of the standing chairs. Crane kicks himself out of the first pin attempt. Muertes hits Crane with a chair and the look on Crane’s face was one of severe agony and massive pain. Crane gets up and chops Muertes with a chair about six or seven times. He puts a chair on Muertes throat and hits it with another chair. Then he gets a damn table! The believers, and me, have been going nuts this entire match. The table gets set up on the outside, Crane tried to get back in the ring but Muertes stops him and they crash into the table. It didn’t break! Muertes picks up Crane and powerbomb him through it, now its broken. Back in the ring, Crane almost makes Muertes tap as he held him In a choke. Muertes gets out and choke slams Crane then heads for another table. He sets it up in the corner and Crane spears him through it. The two fight some more until a flatliner from Muertes finishes Crane. As Crane lays on the mat, Catrina slinks to him and gives him a kiss. This pisses Muertes off and he stomps on Crane some more. This match was a match of the year contender!

Agent Winter from the FBI visits Dario Cueto about Cage’s murder he committed with the gauntlet.

Cueto Cup Quarter Final Match

Pentagon Dark def Texano

The bell rings and the two stare each other down. Fists start flying and Texano gets things going first. It doesn’t take long for Dark to fly over the top to the outside. A huge kick slows Texano down but he does stop Dark from coming back in the ring with an uppercut. Dark kicks Texano to the floor again and goes for a flip again but Texano stops him. The two battle in the ring and we see Famous B and Brenda enter the temple. Texano keeps his attention in the match as he kicks the hell out of Dark over and over. Dark tries to get off the mat but Texano drop kicks him but Dark rolls Texano’s leg up into a submission. Dark hangs in the corner and Texano drop kicks him. The match slows down and Famous B tries to toss Texano a horseshoe he got out of Brenda’s purse. Dark catches it instead and takes out Texano. Dark goes for Texano’s arm but Famous B begs him not to do it. Dark super kicks B and breaks his arm instead. Dark turns around and instead of leaving he breaks Brenda’s arm also.

We see Catrina at the FBI office talking about the GODs coming back. They need to get the gauntlet back from Cage and Mil Muertes is the only one who can do it. As Catrina fades away she calls the FBI agent mother.

This weeks show was nuts! The Crane/Muertes match was the craziest match I’ve seen in forever. The Cueto Cup is coming to an end and next week will be just as crazy I’m sure.

 

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