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By The Real DC (@TheNotFakeDC)
DC’s Dozen is a Top 12 list focused on the WWE Universe past and present. It’s like a Top 10 List only with, umm, 2 more things. Feel free to let me know what I missed or where you disagree in the comments below.
Bo Dallas, AKA Taylor WIndham. Brother of Windham Rotunda (AKA Bray Wyatt). Son of IRS, Mike Rotunda, nephew of Barry and Kendall Windham, and grandson of Blackjack Mulligan. Former NXT Champion and owner of the Fourteen and Bo win streak. To say there’s no potential with Bo Dallas would be well….UnfathomaBOle (ya gotta BOlieve that’s a real word, my friends). Ever since the Social Outcasts broke up though, Mr. Dallas has been quite directionless in the WWE. At only 26 years old, all is certainly not lost. Here are 12 ways to get Bo Dallas back on the right track…all you have to do is…(well I think you know)
12. Give him a pet monkey – Yeah, that’s right; a pet monkey. WWE hasn’t had a good animal gimmick in quite some time. It worked for Koko B Ware, Jake the Snake, and the British Bulldogs. Heck, we’re back in the PG era. And unlike the dogs of the Al Snow-Big Bossman match, monkeys won’t take a leak in the ring (well maybe they will, what do I know about monkeys?). I think monkeys are smarter than that though. You can probably even get it to throw poop. How over would Bo Dallas and his monkey be, if the monkey threw poop at Roman Reigns? The only issue will be when the monkey inevitably gets more over than Bo.
11. Take a summer job – Much like I can somehow picture Bo grinning from ear to ear and palling around with a monkey, I can also see Bo as a carney working a carnival. Perhaps Bo gets fed up with his lack of use on WWE TV and decides he needs a summer job to pay the bills and kill some time. It’d give him a chance to show off his comedic chops. You can even set up a feud when one of the carnival patrons (some up and coming NXT superstar) takes issue with Bo rigging one of the games. Bonus: Have him be a carney WITH a monkey.
10. Make him a manager – If he can be a carnival barker, he can be a WWE manager. He’d be an excellent heel manager. Let him be the mouthpiece for a more sinister Apollo Crews. If he gains enough traction, put him back in the ring. Maybe have Crews realize he doesn’t need him anymore after Bo does more harm than good as his manager.
9. Give him a love Interest – Ahhh…to be a young Bo in love. Let’s kill 2 birds with one stone and also give one of the underutilized women’s superstars something to do. Bo can follow Dana Brooke around backstage like a lovestruck little puppy while she just pats him on the head and says “good Bo”. Give him a rival for Dana’s attention; let’s say, I don’t know Curtis Axel or Curt Hawkins or someone else w/ nothing to do. Or perhaps if we want to stay with the love triangle angle…
8. Make him Miz’s lackey – Although this has been done before (and to perfection) with Damien Sandow, why not bring Bo Dallas on to help run interference for the Miz. The two can develop sort of a Million Dollar Man/Virgil relationship. Bo can be working under the guise of being an A-lister in training, while Miz is clearly using him to help cheat in his matches. A BOtégé if you will. Throw Maryse into the equation, and you have a lot more creative outcomes. Down the line, have Miz pull a Macho Man and get insanely jealous and overprotective of Maryse and accuse Bo of trying to break up their marriage. At this point the audience will be itching for Bo to finally come to his senses and turn on The Miz.
7. Let him unleash a pipe BOmb – That’s pronounced “Bo-omm” by the way. Anyway, give Bo a mic and let him speak his mind. Let him talk about his legacy in the industry, his famous family (maybe even break kayfabe for a second and mention Bray). Remind the WWE Universe that he was NXT Champion, in fact the only NXT Champion that HASN’T gone on to great success on the main roster. Heck if he wants to stop being polite and start getting real, he can bring up his arrest last year for public intoxication (bonus: he got kicked off a flight…flight horror stories are all the rage now!) and talk about how WWE didn’t support him (even if they did). He can be the WWE’s next anti her-Bo.
6. Stand up to Big Show – Big Show although sparingly used lately, seems to be in peak physical condition and in need of one last great rivalry. He put on a great match w/ Braun Strowman recently, so he can still go in the ring. Let Big Show get a few wins back under his belt and have Bo pick a fight with him out of nowhere. Have them feud over a few PPV’s before Bo finally wins and gains Show’s respect. A nice way for Show to end up his career too, by putting over a younger superstar.
5. Crazy finisher – While I find Bo’s oblivious goofball character to be quite charming, wrestling wise I realize he isn’t exactly the 2nd coming of Kurt Angle or Daniel Bryan. He doesn’t have really intimidating size (6’1) or strength so most fans aren’t gonna put down their Mountain Dew Kickstart long enough to pay attention to a Bo finishing move. However, if Bo revived his sadistic side, why not give him a finisher that makes him seem a bit unhinged; like he’s really going to hurt someone? I’m thinking something like when Bob Backlund wouldn’t let go of his crossface chickenwing. Or maybe something kind of cheap that seems like it should be illegal like Randy Orton’s Punt Kick or Goldusts’ Shattered Dreams. Have him put a few superstars out of action for a few weeks and make the roster scared of his out of control antics.
4. Join Hardy’s World – Assuming the Hardy’s BROKEN world finally makes it to WWE screens, the Hardy’s will certainly need some new players to add to their whackness. He can be the WWE’s Señor Benjamin…or better yet the Dilapidated BOat. Maybe he can be the 8th deity or just follow The Drifter onto the Hardy compound one day?
3. Move to SmackDown Live – This is probably the easiest solution. Just send Bo on over to Shane O’Mac and Daniel Bryan and see what they can do for his career. I think they only have like 12 guys on the roster, so he should find a place to shine in short order.
2. The Lovable Loser – Follow the Heath Slater blueprint and have Bo suffer a series of humiliating losses and embarrassments. Have the entire roster treat Dallas like a complete joke. Eventually have Bo pick up some sort of fluke win over Strowman or Lesnar. Let this be the catalyst to him gaining confidence, his quirky personality shining along the way and winning some matches. He truly start BOlieving in himself. Have Strowman or Lesnar get their revenge and crush him, raising the audience’s doubts. Ultimately, Bo regains his mojo and wins the intercontinental title off of a seemingly more pedigreed performer who underestimates him.
1. A Real Wyatt Family – The most obvious solution, and the one I’ve been waiting for is to finally reunite Bo with his real life brother Bray Wyatt. Have Bray give a promo talking about how he’s ran with a “family” before but it didn’t bring him what he was looking for. His real family is blood. Heck, bring back IRS or Barry Windham to manage them too. Maybe they can even drag Bo’s wife into the mix (she was previously an NXT superstar). Over time have Bray show that he doesn’t really take Bo seriously and doesn’t trust him to get the job done. Have Bo in the Owen Hart role, who eventually has enough of his big brother bossing him around and stands up to Bray to prove himself. Now that’s inspirational!