Marty “The Moth” Martinez defeated Ivelisse (*½)
Ultimate Opportunity match 3: Texano Jr defeated Cage (***¼)
Gift of the Gods Championship match: Johnny Mundo defeated Sexy Star (*¾)
Sexy Star came into Cueto’s office, demanding her Lucha underground championship match. Cueto agreed, setting the match for next week, noting he should always agree with a sexy woman’s demands. Cueto then reminded Star that she’s facing Mundo tonight for her gift of the gods title. As well as this, she would lose her title if Aerostar, fenix or drago interrupted the match.
Marty Martinez vs Ivelisse
Seemingly the week of inter gender matches, these two, alongside Mariposa, have been feuding for an interminable amount of time.. one would suggest long enough to lose all sense of interest.
As ever, the male strength dominated the female contender in the opening stages, causing Ivelisse to reconsider her game plan. Ivelisse reverted to demonstrating her stiff strike game before trying to choke out her gargantuan foe, which didn’t alter the result as Marty decimated her with a front facing slam. After the match, Jeremiah Gray (Sami Callihan) came to the rescue of Ivelisse. He saved her from the duo of Marty and Mariposa but unfortunately couldn’t save her from a debacle of another intergender match. Ivelisse is a good wrestler, having her wrestle in these matches does nothing for her.
Turns out white rabbit is Paul London, and it isn’t a Jefferson Airplane tribute.
Jeremiah and Ivelisse, shortly after bickering, agreed to work together. Gray comes across as a really sleazy character, although that can work well in the temple.
Dario Cueto met a mysterious figure who handed him a box, telling him to prepare the next host body. Cueto insisted that it will be the winner of the ‘ultimate opportunity’ series, which is either Cage or Texano Jr. I’m guessing inside that box is a monster push.
Ultimate Opportunity Series match 3: Cage vs Texano Jr
Cage is currently 2-0 up in the series, so a win here would seal the series victory for him. Cage looked well focused, no hint of complacency in the bruising bout. Texano brought the pain early on, slinging cage into the metal fence that pens in the fans, before launching him into crowd. Texano followed this up with two huge power slams, causing the already vociferous believers to raise the volume.
Cage capitalised on Texano taking his time in utilising the top rope, showcasing that already freakish strength, rallying the unsure remainders of the already pro-cage crowd, firmly behind him. The arrogance of Cage creeped in as he played to the crowd a little, causing Texano to fight back, kicking out of all of Cage’s big power moves, including his finisher. From out of nowhere, Texano picked up the victory with a roll-up, defeating Cage and clawing his way back into the series.
Mysterio barged into Cueto’s office, demanding he fire Chavo. Mysterio, after some thought, proposed a “Loser leaves Lucha” match, which Dario set as next week’s main event. Mysterio commented, “sometimes you gotta put a dog down, for his own good.”
Gift of the Gods Championship: Sexy Star (c) vs Johnny Mundo
Tonight’s main event, another intergender match. The crowd were firmly behind Sexy Star, for more than one reason. As far as this goes, If Sexy Star retains tonight, she faces Matanza next week, a match that would be more one-sided than TNA’s current court case.
Mundo utilised his amateur wrestling skills, before dominating proceedings with a series of strikes and a neck breaker to only get a two count. Star really struggled for a while, slowing down her movements by remaining greatly in control, not allowing her any room to breathe.
Star began her fight back by reversing a top rope moonsault from Mundo. Sexy Star then unleashed a mean combination of a codebreaker then backstabber to only garner a two count. I know, two elite finishers in other promotions only amounted to a two count.
Mundo knocked down the referee, which sexy Star took advantage of the distracted Mundo, locking in a choke hold before PJ Black and Jack Evans came to the rescue of Mundo, decimating Sexy Star. PJ Black and Jack Evans took out a second official with a Superkick. Da Mack came to the rescue, delivering three fantastic stunners to the worldwide Lucha trio before Star recovered, hitting Mundo with a chair, only for another two count. After another brief struggle, Mundo then took a page out of William Regal’s book, utilising a pair of brass knuckles to pick up the victory.
Backstage, prince puma was interrupted by Vampiro whilst he was training backstage. Vampiro insisted Puma isn’t done with Mil, reminding Puma of what Mil Muertes did to Konnan. Muertes buried Konnan alive, killing him. Before leaving, vampiro stated “I always hated Konnan, but I’ve always respected you.”
Final Word: I don’t know if it was because I was ill, or as Jim Cornette says, or whatever the fuck, but tonight’s show was really bad. These intergender matches are so dull, the size and strength of the male usually always outdoes the speed and resilience of the female. Tonight we had to sit through two intergender matches. Marty Moth is the reason a lot of people dislike the show, his perverse antics are tedious and seemingly never-ending, I’m coming to the end of my tether with him, despite his original, interesting background story.
I absolutely adore Cage, he saved this show from delving into Lucha Limbo. The big man always impresses and tonight’s match was no different, big fan of the guy.
Overall, you could miss this week out and not miss an element of anything interesting. Last week’s Lucha Underground was unbelievably good, tonight I realised there’s an awful show for every great show.
Grade: Watch something else for an hour.